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Eyes Opened

Niki Porter 0

Hi Everyone!

So, yesterday something big happened that both shook me up and opened my eyes. Right after therapy yesterday my parents and I got in a car crash. I don’t want to get into the details about the crash. Long story short, the person who hit us was incredible sorry and in this case, it was just an accident. Regardless of it being an accident it was still very frightening. Luckily because of great airbags and my dad being a good driver everyone involved was safe. Just some bruising and sore bodies.
So, why am I blogging about this? Knowing that people who read this blog might deal with intrusive thoughts or have a hard time reading about accidents I wanted to make sure to make this blog about the positives and the lessons I learned from this experience.
Right before the crash I had just left a productive therapy session. We talked about how I need to give myself credit for my successes and we discussed as a group how my parents and I can work through my mental illness together. We talked about how I see the world in black and white. I tend to only see things as bad or good. It’s hard for me to allow a grey area to be present. So overall the appointment was good.
In the moment of the crash right when I felt the impact it was surreal. I whole accident felt that way. But what impressed me the most is how everything was handled. I left the car and was shaking really bad and a kind man who witnessed the accident came over to me and asked if I was okay. I explained that I had severe anxiety and that I just got out of therapy. He kindly suggested I go sit on the sidewalk and walked over with me and as I sat there, he just stood and kept instructing me to take deep breaths. He looked down and checked to see if I was okay again and I just responded that I was nervous about my mom and wanted to make sure she was okay. At this time my dad had left the car but my mom hadn’t so I wasn’t sure what was going on. I found out they just didn’t want her to move until they knew her legs were okay because of knee replacement surgery she had a few years ago. Everything turned out fine, we went to the hospital got checked out and went home.
I don’t even remember who this man was that helped me, I can’t remember what he looked like but I get chills thinking about him and his kindness. For anyone in an accident it’s scary and with mental illness, especially anxiety it can be heighten more. So, his simple act of standing next to me until he knew I was okay meant a lot.
The other humbling experience that I wanted to share was about our trip to the emergency room. My parents and I went together just to make sure we were okay and while checking in a lady was in the waiting room. She overheard us and asked if we were the ones that got hit. Come to find out that her sister had to go to the emergency room because of a severe panic attack after witnessing our crash. Her husband had been killed in a t-bone crash and after seeing ours that was almost a t-bone she had a PTSD attack. It was good that we decided to go get checked out because she was able to find out that we were all okay and having a mental illness I know what a severe attack is like and the fact that we could give her closure was humbling. I know that her husband still passed but being able to give her comfort and hopefully preventing her from having intrusive thoughts of our situation was a neat thing.
I’m not going to lie, I went to bed last night in tears. It could have been much worse and I am so blessed it wasn’t. We had the privilege of having dinner with the LDS missionaries tonight and it was a pleasant experience. The comfort they bring is amazing, I think that the Lord let them come tonight to help me feel peace about what happened. I am so blessed with amazing parents, family and friends that called and texted and did all they could to make sure I was okay not only physically but emotionally. My eyes were open yesterday to what matters.

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